Chilly circumstances inspire

I am living inside of a 3,000-square-foot ice cube. Icicles hang from my dining room chandelier. I can’t feel my toes.

The heat’s off. It’s chosen to malfunction on the coldest day this fall.

The good news is that I have come up with yet another invention to add to my long list: an electric keyboard warmer. Being the dedicated scribe that I am, I am still typing away, despite the fact that my fingers have turned blue. And unfortunately, I am not nimble enough to do that while wearing gloves, which leads me to my second invention: electric heated gloves, specially made for use while typing.

Any financial backers out there? I need to hear from you before frostbite sets in.