Whatever I do, I have to do it before ravenous hunger prevents me from getting to the gym…

Here is how my day as a woman of leisure starts out - the short list:
1. Eat breakfast, being sure to include all of the food groups, including chocolate, so that I can go on at least an hour or two before becoming ravenously hungry again.
2. Drop the kid off at school and miss him already. At the same time, try not to cheer too loudly or make skid marks on the asphalt while peeling away.
3. Head to the gym, praying that I don’t get hungry before arriving, which, as noted earlier, may deter me from the task at hand. Then, ride the stationary bike until my stomach starts growling.
4. Go home for lunch. Stop off at Chik-fil-a if my stomach growl is louder than the car engine and I can’t make it home.
5. Write in my journal about all sorts of unimportant things that don’t matter to anyone and which no one would ever want to read.
6. Check the most-dire, red-starred items on my to-do list, some of which could bring a couple of dollars into the household. Complete the three easiest things on said list, which, due to procrastination, now numbers to 162.
7. Go to the grocery store so that I can put food on my family’s table.(Note to self: Try to stop burning dinner.) Wonder why “Boston pork butt” is constantly being hawked by the Ingles grocery chain, with specials on this item nearly every day of the year. Survey random shoppers and deduce that no one has ever tried pork butt, hence the glut and constant sales. Suggest to the manager that they call it “derriere” instead of “butt,” so that it will sound French and will perhaps, finally, sell.
8. Return home, throw the frozen items in the pantry, the fruit in the freezer and get back to that to-do list. Get online, send out some more resumes, and break for some melted chocolate ice cream.

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