I’m Not Really Green – I’m Just Being Lazy

I’m working on a story about being eco-friendly to save money. Yes, it is possible to live economically and be green at the same time. But I don’t do these eco-friendly things to be green or even save money. I do them because I’m lazy.

For example, I haven't cut down on doing the laundry to save energy. I’m bedecked in dirty duds to cut down on laundry time and effort. Sure, my clothes aren’t perfectly clean – I'll admit it. But who notices a little dirt anyway?

And I don’t buy some of my food organic because I want to save the planet – I do it because I’m an anxiety-ridden paranoid where my kids are concerned – I don’t want the pesticides to kill them young – because they might, you know. And who knows – the animal hormones could cause one of them to grow a third breast! Wouldn’t want that.

I'm also sad to say that I don’t keep the house a mess to be eco-friendly – I don’t clean too often because I’m lazy. Why clean the floor if it’s just going to be caked in mud from us tromping in through the garden anyway?

And speaking of gardening: I don’t garden because I want to help the environment or save money on food (most of my plants will probably die anyway because I am likely to become too lazy and abandon them.) I garden because it’s fun to see things grow. And who cares if my clothes are dripping with dirt – I’m not doing the laundry anyway.

Yes, I'm in my happy place on a forest trail and I could have a crazy love affair with almost any tree. In fact, for some reason, it seems vital to me to pass on this earth adoration to my kids.

Can't I be protective of our precious planet and lazy as a floating leaf as well?

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